Not one to complain, but I feel as though numerous doors have been closing on my life these past few months that have left me a bit numb. Some have been very painful, some not so much yet still there is a void and one that I would have to say was a joyful, closing/opening that while I dreaded it, it has left me totally content.
Last Sunday, my husband and I dropped our youngest daughter off at NYU as she begins her college career in the Big Apple. This is the same daughter that I spent several days with in an emergency room as we got her health back on track 2 weeks ago. Driving 16 hours from Chicago out to Greenwich Village was long and tiring, the moving in process--23 floors housing over 600 men and women was easier than I thought and Kylie has, according to her older sister, "taken ownership of her environment" and she could not be happier if she tried. As I said goodbye to her at the end of our stay I had no tears to shed. I hugged her tight and whispered in her ear, "You, my dear, are exactly where you need to be." It was evident that I was leaving her to her future--whatever I could have done for her as a mom and teacher is not necessarily complete but certainly, has been enough to prepare her for this. All I can say is, I wish I were her. Twelve dollar student tickets to Broadway plays, tours of the United Nations, bumping into the likes of Matt Damon and Will Smith who happen to live down the street from her dorm, being exposed to a variety of lifestyles, having continuous dialogs regarding those lifestyles, looking at cultural and spiritual diversity as part of your dorm experience--these are just a tip of the iceberg of what is in store for her this year and until she graduates in 2012.
Now back in Chicago, I have moments when I have to stop as I feel the physical distance between us and it takes hold of my heart and tugs at it. But then I open my email and find a mile long discourse from her on the events of the last few days and I feel her complete bliss come through her words. I marvel at her maturity and bravado and can just shake my head and smile.
She is home!